The ZZAP! reviewers were incredulous to find shower-murderer Norman Bates had endorsed a footy compilation - all apart from PHIL 'PUB TRIVIA' KING, who pointed out that 'Psycho' is also the nickname of Notts Forest and England star, Stuart Pearce!

One might well ask, 'What does an England player know about football anyway?', but Stuart 'Psycho' Pearce is a true pro. In fact, he's one of my favourite players with his rock 'ard tackling and rocket free kicks.

With all those years of Cloughie shouting in his ear, what the 'young man' doesn't know about footy isn't worth an Accrington Stanley season ticket. So why ever has he endorsed such a dreary compilation of soccer sims?

It kicks off with Kick Off 2, a not-too-brilliant conversion of the legendary Amiga game. It's a fair attempt with the full quota of league and cup options, and the famous push-along dribbling. Trouble is, it's got more than its fair share of flaws, including sluggish scrolling, unintelligent players and a tiny, useless radar scanner.

67%

And thick computer goalies make things even simpler - by approaching from a wide angle you can dribble straight past them to score!

Play is further spoilt by a confusing control system; the shot-height control stays the same, no matter which direction you're facing. Even a full World Cup tournament can't stop this slimy sim shooting well wide of the target.

37%

Selection of players and formation is good, but let down by a dodgy match section. Simple hit-and-hope footy takes place on a horizontally scrolling, overhead-view ptich, with no frills and few thrills.

Ball-glued-to-foot dribbling and the limitation of shooting straight ahead make for dull dunkey-style play, while good computer goalies ensure ultra-low scorelines.

65%

Worst of all is the piddle-poor responsiveness of the controls - the players take about half a second to follow your joystick movements! The only minor amusement is the way the players jump miles into the air to head the ball.

10%